My First Binge Begins...Part 3


 It was the first time I'd ever heard those words...

.

.

.

“I'm fat?” ‘I'm fat?’ ‘When did I get fat?’ ”How did I get fat?

Tens of thousands of thoughts raced through my head in just one second.

.

.

.

Then, I looked at the hamburgers and fries on the table in the church cafeteria 

with dazed looks as if I had been hit on the head.

.

.

.

Only one second ago, I would have gobbled it up, thinking, 

“Oooh, free food! Looks so yummy!”

But in that one second, it seemed like my brain had turned upside down.

.

When the youth pastor saw that I was still standing, 

she pulled the hamburger and fries in front of me, telling me to sit down and eat.

.

.

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I reluctantly sat down, peeled the paper off the hamburger, and grabbed it with both hands.

.

.

.

As I held the burger in my hands, my thoughts moved at super speed, 

like numbers in the Matrix movie.

.

'Isn't this going to make me fat more?’

“But I'm hungry….., Should I just eat half of it?

“Will I be okay if I just eat the burger and not the fries?

.

Up until that point, I didn't care about dieting at all, 

so I had no idea what calories were, and I just assumed that I shouldn't eat them.

.

.

.

The other church friends I was hanging out with started eating burgers and fries, 

sitting in front of and next to me.

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They didn't seem to have the same complicated thoughts in their heads as I did.

.

They tore open the ketchup bags, squeezed them onto the ripped-open French fry paper, 

and chugged in two, three fries at a time.

.

.

.

Seeing that, I was envious on the one hand, but I was worried that I would gain weight, 

so I put down my burger and went into the restroom where no one was around.

.

.

.

Once I was sure no one was in the restroom, I stood in front of the mirror, 

rolled up my long sleeves to my shoulders, and looked at my arm in the mirror. 

With my other hand, I pinched the fat on my upper arm like tongs.

.

'Wow, I'm really fat, when did I get so fat?

“I'm going to lose weight starting today!

.

.

.

As I was making a resolution to myself, I heard footsteps outside the door, 

so I quickly rolled down my sleeve and walked out.

 



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